/you/ /ni/ /vers/ /e/

To eat your name for dinner means I wake up with the Ocean’s rage in the crevice of my guts. The movement inside crashes into my organs. My heart, reverberates an incomprehensible dissonance of beats and rhythm. My lungs, slowed down by Chaos and Confusion, dance like little girls with two left feet. one. two. three — a waltz gone too fast. 

To eat your name for dinner means I hold on to my sheets and cry out in pain as little stars escape my mouth. These stars do not fly out gracefully but fall on my sheets like defeated warriors. I shiver lightly from fatigue and nausea. I do not count theses celestial beauties instead I abandon them without a choice. 

Another wave of movement inside me forces me to curl up into a ball. Pieces of the moon in its sheer silvery sheen make its grand exit out in such haste that my tears were not able escape my eyes in time.  

A splitting pain and emptiness inside me gives birth to a strange light that stays with me and lingers… long enough to blind me.

I eat your name for dinner and awake throwing up the universe.

イサベラ

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The Damned and the Doomed

To make sense of the Chaos, we have classified things in groups – eating habits, habitats, species, race, religion, personality, sexuality, gender et. cetera…

We have provided boxes of different materials and in different colors. We made borders – where to stand and how to talk and how… just how to live properly and deny Chaos in the process.

In the course of Time, we – pathetic we, realize that the boxes are strange. It does not protect us from Chaos. We – the same pathetic we,  break them apart only to build the same boxes… with different labels and in bigger more accommodating human-friendly boxes.

But… the Chaos still remains.

In fact, with all our attempts to wipe it out, we have finally reached the point of damnation – the realization that we are weak against this Chaos. That we are and will always be destined to lose against it. We are but ants in the face of Chaos.

And Chaos, does not even bother to laugh at us. We are ants.

I say we abandon ship. Hold my hand and be like Chaos.

🌠 イサベラ